"Butch" and "Femme" - Truly Antiquated Terms or More Marginalization?

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Selenay

It's very interesting that when I come in as a 20 year old and discuss my experiences, and comment that, butch/femme is dead or dying in the community that I'm part of, I'm railroaded.

It never fails to amuse me when my experiences, opinions and beliefs are dismissed automatically because, "Oh, well, you're too young to understand. When you're older/wiser/have more lovers under your belt you'll see things sooooo differently."


Usually I can swallow that kind of dismissive behavior, but it's particularly offensive when it's occurring in a thread that holds such relevance to me, as the next generation of b/f.

I don't think I (or my generation) invented sex, or drugs, or queer, or war, or hate, but I am aware enough to be cognizant that a dramatic shift is going on, and we can stick our heads in the sand or we can discuss where we think it's going.

Butch/femme will never be gone; it'll always be out there in some new incarnation, but take a look for a second at the demographics of the butch-femme websites as an example.

What do YOU think the median age is? When you can name off butch/femme people in their 20's without having to pause and think about it, that's when you'll see the same kind of demographic equality that you have for other age groups, and that's when you'll be certain that b/f will never be gone.

I apologize if I sounded like my posts are railroading you, I was commenting on the OP's post, not you.

I agree that my younger friends are mostly andro and call themselves queer rather than Butch or Femme...

Thank you for trying to keep us up to date!

Originally Posted by Boots13

Hey Apoc ~
If I've never told you how much I like your screen name, every time I see
it (and I've seen it for years!) I chuckle.
Nothing like a little chaos with color !
Boots


Anyway...this statement kinda made me sad. Are we really that "antiquated',
becoming "invisible", or outdated? I wonder what the now generation thinks when
they see a Butch/Femme couple, out and about.


I remember terms like bull-dagger, lipstick lez, sporty dyke...and now Butch and Femme
are falling by the wayside. For some reason this conversation has awakened me.

I had no clue that while we've been arguing, debating, defining ourselves , that the
descriptors of Butch and Femme are falling by the wayside. It makes sense, everything evolves.


I'm really interested in this and wish more of the younger generation was on this thread to
share their experiences and thoughts.

Thank you! My screen name cracks me up too.

When I came out back in my 20's, it was scandalous to be Femme and it seems to still be (I kind of like being scandalous so no prob for me). Yes, there have been times where it seemed really cool to be Butch...but that just may be because to me Butches have always been cool and fun to be around.

I also did not take this as a fighting subject. I am fine with however people want to ID as long as there is somewhere I can feel welcome being me. It has been my experience that andro Queers/Lesbians have looked down on girls like me. Giggled when walking in the bar. Talked about. Asked when I was going to grow up, etc.