The Psychology of Online Dating

Kätzchen · 07-26-2017, 07:52 PM

Heh, love the ice cream metaphor firegal! *lol*

I hear Bulldog and Martina and I resonate with similar sentiment in that ..... A) Like both Bulldog and Martina, I've been a member of this community for a very long time. Our history, things we've talked about in either personal or political ways, are really good ways to understand the way we think about most any subject up for discussion among members of the community. Whether it was online here at the Planet or at the years long community that seems no longer what it once was (Dash), people who've been regularly participating in forum discussions are able to see our own unique pattern of thinking, our preferences, whatever..... even if someone isn't a regularly participating member, there is always the proverbial trail of bread crumbs which are unique to ourselves or anyone who has posted on forum boards.

And... B) unless you're a trained professional therapist in the mental health field, I think it's really WISE to not dispense with personal assessment of behavioral issues. I would feel VERY uncomfortable if any therapist or mental health professional crossed that ethical and moral line of conduct. So...to share ideas you have about certain RED flags in behavioral issues is one thing, but it's a slippery slope to reference anyone in shady ways or use the un-named target when talking about serious things that can be deal breakers for many people.

C) I don't have any "dog in this fight" as far as whether knowing if dating locally or meeting someone here and it turns out well or not. I've made several posts about this very thing over the past few years, which anyone can look up on their own. What matters to me is whether another person and myself feel attraction for one another....and other privately held ideas between the two of us, which I don't feel is necessary to discuss openly on the forum boards. BUT...it is important that proximity of nearness be in place for anything to develop and it's also important to me that transparency between each other is of vital importance.

In my mind, these are the building blocks to a solid foundation. What happens next is not up for debate or discussion. Solid foundations are vital to building any relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic, in my mind.

girl_dee · 07-26-2017, 08:03 PM

i feel that the internet is a tool in which we use to gather. We like to be with like minded folks...

This amazing pool of B-F folks could not gather without the internet, not very easily.

Even in our community we are quite diverse!

Some are looking for friendships, romances, fuckmances, likemances...you name it.. some are not looking for anything more than to feel accepted.

But it happens, someone strikes your fancy and you begin...

How you continue it is the key. .. if there is an attraction you will do what works for you, until it doesn't.

07-26-2017, 07:52 PM	#1
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: As a very feminine woman. Relationship Status: I’m not available. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Near smoke signals in the sky. Posts: 16,200 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,460 Thanked 33,607 Times in 10,706 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Heh, love the ice cream metaphor firegal! lol I hear Bulldog and Martina and I resonate with similar sentiment in that ..... A) Like both Bulldog and Martina, I've been a member of this community for a very long time. Our history, things we've talked about in either personal or political ways, are really good ways to understand the way we think about most any subject up for discussion among members of the community. Whether it was online here at the Planet or at the years long community that seems no longer what it once was (Dash), people who've been regularly participating in forum discussions are able to see our own unique pattern of thinking, our preferences, whatever..... even if someone isn't a regularly participating member, there is always the proverbial trail of bread crumbs which are unique to ourselves or anyone who has posted on forum boards. And... B) unless you're a trained professional therapist in the mental health field, I think it's really WISE to not dispense with personal assessment of behavioral issues. I would feel VERY uncomfortable if any therapist or mental health professional crossed that ethical and moral line of conduct. So...to share ideas you have about certain RED flags in behavioral issues is one thing, but it's a slippery slope to reference anyone in shady ways or use the un-named target when talking about serious things that can be deal breakers for many people. C) I don't have any "dog in this fight" as far as whether knowing if dating locally or meeting someone here and it turns out well or not. I've made several posts about this very thing over the past few years, which anyone can look up on their own. What matters to me is whether another person and myself feel attraction for one another....and other privately held ideas between the two of us, which I don't feel is necessary to discuss openly on the forum boards. BUT...it is important that proximity of nearness be in place for anything to develop and it's also important to me that transparency between each other is of vital importance. In my mind, these are the building blocks to a solid foundation. What happens next is not up for debate or discussion. Solid foundations are vital to building any relationship, whether it's platonic or romantic, in my mind. __________________ “The way someone treats you is not a reflection of your worth: It’s a reflection of their emotional capacity,” — Jillian Turecki. “The smartest people are clearly the best listeners,” — Audible. I’m doing my part, as an American citizen, who is concerned about losing our Democracy: I boycott agencies and businesses and service providers who do not support the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Support Democracy: Vote Blue

07-26-2017, 08:03 PM	#2
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	i feel that the internet is a tool in which we use to gather. We like to be with like minded folks... This amazing pool of B-F folks could not gather without the internet, not very easily. Even in our community we are quite diverse! Some are looking for friendships, romances, fuckmances, likemances...you name it.. some are not looking for anything more than to feel accepted. But it happens, someone strikes your fancy and you begin... How you continue it is the key. .. if there is an attraction you will do what works for you, until it doesn't.