Rethinking our partner wishlists. Is it "settling" or adjusting to reality?

[Ms. Tabitha]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I am not an ideal, so I don't expect anyone else to be either. I would never want to be with anyone where I thought I was settling for what I didn't want or what she didn't want.

I want to be with someone who is kind and honest. Sure there are some other things, but I don't have a big list that I want to measure someone against and I certainly do not want to try and change anyone from who they are. I would rather be pleasantly surprised. If I do ever get into a relationship again, I want her to be her own person as well as someone whom I share values with and who would be someone I could happily live with and be mutually passionate about each other as well as have our own interests.

I am fine with being single. I have no need to settle because I am fine on my own. I am not changing that unless the right person (not ideal person) comes into my life and we have time to explore the possibilities and potential of being together as a couple.

I'm not perfect in anyway, so who am I to have a list to compare someone to. I have always set boundaries within myself and when the time came and I met someone I knew a few of the top qualities they had to have were kindness, honesty and faithfulness. I did not want to have a list to compare them with and I also do not want anyone to change who they are. I want to see the real them. I want to see their values, morals and how they treat and respect the people close to them, as well as how they treat and respect themselves. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has those, "not so proud" moments in their lives, its part of being human. Seeing how someone reacts to those "not so proud" moments is important to their character. I have my "me time" moments and I'm happy and very comfortable with that. I do not need someone to validate who I am or define me. Or in my saying, "Be up my arse"
I have been very blessed to have someone who not only has impeccable character, a loving heart and spirit that would not have even been compared to any kind of list that I could have imagined, if I had made one.
Neither one of us believe in settling. We choose to be together, we compliment each other, and most importantly, we respect each other and each others privacy.