only another butch would understand

Dean Thoreau · 11-14-2009, 04:09 PM

Ok to me the only way anyone is going to emascualte me is if I allow them to.
And easiest way to allow it is by letting them know saying stupid shit bothers me.

I just ignore the comments...cause I know the person making the comment is:
1. looking for a argument
2. wants to be a bitch
3. feeling wounded cause i did somethin stupid; or someone within a 2000 mile radius did and the person is desiring to boost their ego by saying stupid crap to me
4. an insensitive idiot that doesnt have a clue
5. ignorant
6. an asshole
7. all of the above

And bluntly none of the above have the power to shake my masculinity/butchness/ sense of self....and If i am dating/married/ involved with a person like that....I am the asshole.

at my age,,gas happens..be thankful it was a burp!

Anyone else get annoyed by the "butch sterotype" handy? likes power tools? can fix things?
Fine I burp but..I cant fix things..i dont like being thought of as the person that can fix the door, the light switch, or the one who wants to go up the ladder and clean the leaves from the gutters.
I now have tools..all sorts...that out of necessity I have had to buy because once in a while I get this brainstorm of an idea to build something. But that does not mean I know how to fix or repair things in the house.....like....toilets, sinks, or cars..... My Diva's are convinced if they call me it will magically be fixed... not sure why cause my response is usually.....looks broekn to me......... then I say call the repair person, the mechanic, the tow truck, the plumber, the elctrician....

Admin · 11-14-2009, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dean Thoreau

Ok to me the only way anyone is going to emascualte me is if I allow them to.
And easiest way to allow it is by letting them know saying stupid shit bothers me.

I just ignore the comments...cause I know the person making the comment is:
1. looking for a argument
2. wants to be a bitch
3. feeling wounded cause i did somethin stupid; or someone within a 2000 mile radius did and the person is desiring to boost their ego by saying stupid crap to me
4. an insensitive idiot that doesnt have a clue
5. ignorant
6. an asshole
7. all of the above

And bluntly none of the above have the power to shake my masculinity/butchness/ sense of self....and If i am dating/married/ involved with a person like that....I am the asshole.

at my age,,gas happens..be thankful it was a burp!

Hey Dean,

I get what you are saying about how you feel like nobody can emasculate you. That is great for you.

What comments like "only a Butch would understand" and the subsequent examples of "burping or farting" do is create an atmosphere that is hostile and unwelcoming to folks who do not embrace the binary. It also can feel gross to have these stereotypes heralded as "the way" in a Queer space. I want to ask you to please do some thinking around this.

As far as saying that someone is making comments to "be a bitch".

This is a very sexist and unwelcoming comment. The word "bitch" is often used in a sexist way to silence women and is unacceptable in that use on this website. You may be comfortable with this verbiage and you are most welcome to use that verbiage in your daily life in your own home but it is not welcome on this site.

I want you to feel welcome here as a member but we have already received numerous reports over things you have posted in other areas. I am asking you as the Administrator to please do some hard thinking about the way you are interacting with the members here.

While I am not asking you to change the way you think, I am asking you to at least give some thought to how what you say makes other people feel.

We do not want to create a site where posturing, hierarchies, sexism, or ignorance is the norm...nor do we want members to feel that their own gender identities or ways of being are being mocked, "othered", or dismissed.

Again, please take some time to do some hard thinking around this issue and take the initiative to make sure that your words are welcoming and inclusive of all ways of being.

Thanks,
Admin

Greyson · 11-16-2009, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Admin

We do not want to create a site where posturing, hierarchies, sexism, or ignorance is the norm...nor do we want members to feel that their own gender identities or ways of being are being mocked, "othered", or dismissed.

Again, please take some time to do some hard thinking around this issue and take the initiative to make sure that your words are welcoming and inclusive of all ways of being.

Thanks,
Admin

I have not had much time the past few days to peruse and hang out in cyber land. I've had a pretty hard day in the "real world" and reading this made me smile. Thanks.

Jet · 11-14-2009, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dean Thoreau

...cause I know the person making the comment is:
1. looking for a argument
2. wants to be a bitch
3. feeling wounded cause i did somethin stupid; or someone within a 2000 mile radius did and the person is desiring to boost their ego by saying stupid crap to me
4. an insensitive idiot that doesnt have a clue
5. ignorant
6. an asshole
7. all of the above

well, needless to say we split, not because of her comments, but because of all the above. I'm male ID'd and transgendered and if she didn't get that in the first placed she shouldn't have let on. It's water under the bridge now, but I'm not the only one who has gone through this. I look at as a low blow and unnessessary. It didn't negate my maleness, it annihlated (sp) my trust. How could some I loved deliver a cheap shot like that...i'm not an asshole for being involved with her, just really stupid.

Jet · 11-14-2009, 04:37 PM

Sidebar To the Administrator.
Just a note that I think you run one of the coolest ships I've ever seen... and I respect it.

Beau · 11-14-2009, 04:53 PM

and now for something completely different

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltmMJntSfQI"]YouTube- Monty Python "How Not To Be Seen"[/ame]

from one who at least wants to be seen here,
Beau

Bad_boi · 05-03-2010, 10:40 PM

That femmes are weird but I love them dearly.

(I am sure they think the same of us)

BamaBoi · 05-07-2010, 06:44 PM

i'm a butch and eye contact is rare when meeting someone new... i know with me i'm a lip starer... it's a subconscious thing i do.. and the more they talk... the more i stare at them... it's also good to test this out with women..cuz if they stare at your lips alot..they might be interested :P

Blade · 05-07-2010, 07:02 PM

To me eye contact is about confidence. I think anyone who knows me would say I was quite confident. I walk with my head up and when I address anyone be it with a nod or verbally I look them in the eye. When I shake someones hand I look them in the eye. The eyes can say a lot about a person. It doesn't matter to me if a person is butch or any gender for that matter, my confidence level stays the same.

11-14-2009, 04:09 PM	#1
Dean Thoreau Member How Do You Identify?: Ftm - Male- exfemale Preferred Pronoun?: He’s Him Relationship Status: Has a gf Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Philadelphia pa Posts: 889 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 251 Thanked 762 Times in 219 Posts Rep Power: 4529749	Ok to me the only way anyone is going to emascualte me is if I allow them to. And easiest way to allow it is by letting them know saying stupid shit bothers me. I just ignore the comments...cause I know the person making the comment is: 1. looking for a argument 2. wants to be a bitch 3. feeling wounded cause i did somethin stupid; or someone within a 2000 mile radius did and the person is desiring to boost their ego by saying stupid crap to me 4. an insensitive idiot that doesnt have a clue 5. ignorant 6. an asshole 7. all of the above And bluntly none of the above have the power to shake my masculinity/butchness/ sense of self....and If i am dating/married/ involved with a person like that....I am the asshole. at my age,,gas happens..be thankful it was a burp! Anyone else get annoyed by the "butch sterotype" handy? likes power tools? can fix things? Fine I burp but..I cant fix things..i dont like being thought of as the person that can fix the door, the light switch, or the one who wants to go up the ladder and clean the leaves from the gutters. I now have tools..all sorts...that out of necessity I have had to buy because once in a while I get this brainstorm of an idea to build something. But that does not mean I know how to fix or repair things in the house.....like....toilets, sinks, or cars..... My Diva's are convinced if they call me it will magically be fixed... not sure why cause my response is usually.....looks broekn to me......... then I say call the repair person, the mechanic, the tow truck, the plumber, the elctrician.... __________________ Dean Thoreau

11-14-2009, 04:53 PM	#6
Beau Timed Out How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: . Posts: 178 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 71 Thanked 339 Times in 87 Posts Rep Power: 0	what I think all would understand and now for something completely different [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltmMJntSfQI"]YouTube- Monty Python "How Not To Be Seen"[/ame] from one who at least wants to be seen here, Beau

05-07-2010, 06:44 PM	#8
BamaBoi Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch/Trans/Domme/labels sheesh Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: committed to a Smoking Hot redhead hehe Join Date: May 2010 Location: austin,tx Posts: 3 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 0	eye what?? i'm a butch and eye contact is rare when meeting someone new... i know with me i'm a lip starer... it's a subconscious thing i do.. and the more they talk... the more i stare at them... it's also good to test this out with women..cuz if they stare at your lips alot..they might be interested :P

11-14-2009, 04:37 PM	#5
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	Sidebar To the Administrator. Just a note that I think you run one of the coolest ships I've ever seen... and I respect it.

05-03-2010, 10:40 PM	#7
Bad_boi Member How Do You Identify?: Transman (male) Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His ect. Relationship Status: Handsome bastard. Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Seattle Posts: 727 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 122 Thanked 1,824 Times in 499 Posts Rep Power: 0	That femmes are weird but I love them dearly. (I am sure they think the same of us)

05-07-2010, 07:02 PM	#9
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	To me eye contact is about confidence. I think anyone who knows me would say I was quite confident. I walk with my head up and when I address anyone be it with a nod or verbally I look them in the eye. When I shake someones hand I look them in the eye. The eyes can say a lot about a person. It doesn't matter to me if a person is butch or any gender for that matter, my confidence level stays the same.