only another butch would understand

Darth Denkay · 11-17-2009, 02:40 PM

Realizing that this is a question of personal preference...

We know that within our butch ranks we have female-identified, male-identified, other-identified; those who prefer male pronouns, those who prefer female pronouns, and those who couldn't care less. One word I use frequently with butches is 'bro'. I'm assuming that male-identified would be fine with this, but does this term feel erasing to some? I'd love to hear your collective thoughts on this.

Jess · 11-17-2009, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WicketWWarrick

Realizing that this is a question of personal preference...

We know that within our butch ranks we have female-identified, male-identified, other-identified; those who prefer male pronouns, those who prefer female pronouns, and those who couldn't care less. One word I use frequently with butches is 'bro'. I'm assuming that male-identified would be fine with this, but does this term feel erasing to some? I'd love to hear your collective thoughts on this.

I think on some level, maybe it is erasing. When I first recognized and embraced my masculinity and found a place welcoming me to do so, it was one of those lightbulb kind of moments. I ran headlong toward the "freedom" of being addressed as "hy" or "he". The longer I am around the b-f community however, the less I am likely to care which pronoun is used.

Cyclopea · 11-17-2009, 06:05 PM

Is there some way to tell who gave this thread a one star rating? Or is the rating system anonymous.

Why would someone do that?

Jett · 11-17-2009, 06:28 PM

Cyclopea, I believe the thread rating system is anonymous... and apparently someone simply doesn't like the thread. I'm sure after it's gets rated by a few more peeps it will even it self out.

BullDog · 11-17-2009, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyclopea

Is there some way to tell who gave this thread a one star rating? Or is the rating system anonymous.

Why would someone do that?

Yikes, it might have been me by mistake. I saw your post and looking at the little stars it says I rated the thread. I have never tried to rate a thread in my life. Sorry if it was me- I give the thread 10 stars! A couple times on another forum I almost reported someone when I was trying to Rep, lol.

Jess · 11-17-2009, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

Yikes, it might have been me by mistake. I saw your post and looking at the little stars it says I rated the thread. I have never tried to rate a thread in my life. Sorry if it was me- I give the thread 10 stars! A couple times on another forum I almost reported someone when I was trying to Rep, lol.

It says I rated it too

which is odd, coz I only now found out how in reading Bulldog's post then looking for the little stars ... I agree, it's a good thread!

BullDog · 11-17-2009, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SyrJess

It says I rated it too

which is odd, coz I only now found out how in reading Bulldog's post then looking for the little stars ... I agree, it's a good thread!

LOL Jess, I hope this isn't a downward spiral.

Metro must be right. It's not like I would ever make a bonehead mistake or anything, ha ha.

BullDog · 11-17-2009, 07:43 PM

Wicket I would prefer not to be referred to as bro. To me that is male language, and I don't want myself or all butches to be referred to with male default language. For those who prefer male pronouns I of course refer to them that way. I know I have seen in other places where other butches have said they preferred not to be called bro as well, but it wasn't on this forum. Thanks for asking.

Jett · 11-17-2009, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

Yikes, it might have been me by mistake. I saw your post and looking at the little stars it says I rated the thread. I have never tried to rate a thread in my life. Sorry if it was me- I give the thread 10 stars! A couple times on another forum I almost reported someone when I was trying to Rep, lol.

Ha... no... I don't think it was you, I think there's a glitch in the rating system.

Jett · 11-17-2009, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WicketWWarrick

Realizing that this is a question of personal preference...

We know that within our butch ranks we have female-identified, male-identified, other-identified; those who prefer male pronouns, those who prefer female pronouns, and those who couldn't care less. One word I use frequently with butches is 'bro'. I'm assuming that male-identified would be fine with this, but does this term feel erasing to some? I'd love to hear your collective thoughts on this.

Hey WicketWarrick, I didn't miss your question but have been pondering.

I'll probably post some thoughts on it later... but my mouse died today and using this touch pad to edit my posts/move curser etc. is driving me nuts.

Jett · 11-17-2009, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WicketWWarrick

Realizing that this is a question of personal preference...

We know that within our butch ranks we have female-identified, male-identified, other-identified; those who prefer male pronouns, those who prefer female pronouns, and those who couldn't care less. One word I use frequently with butches is 'bro'. I'm assuming that male-identified would be fine with this, but does this term feel erasing to some? I'd love to hear your collective thoughts on this.

Through the years I've referred to many of my butch friends as bro yes, and couldn't count the times it's been used on me.

Is it appropriate being as I'm not male ID(?)... interesting, I dunno, still thinking on it... the friends who have used it for the overwhelmingly know how I ID. Does it feel erasing? No... but I can see where it could. I do think it's definately one of those "ask first" things, just out of respect.

And that's all I got on that right now... good questions though
Metro

Unndunn · 11-18-2009, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WicketWWarrick

Realizing that this is a question of personal preference...

We know that within our butch ranks we have female-identified, male-identified, other-identified; those who prefer male pronouns, those who prefer female pronouns, and those who couldn't care less. One word I use frequently with butches is 'bro'. I'm assuming that male-identified would be fine with this, but does this term feel erasing to some? I'd love to hear your collective thoughts on this.

I'm coming late into this thread, but I appreciate you asking this question. I'm a female ID butch and being called bro or anything like it doesn't bother me. I don't care about being referred to as he rather than she. The only thing I don't like is being called one of those "other" pronouns like hy, shy, etc. I know some people love them and that's fine, but not for me.

It also would take quite a bit to make me feel erased or not included. It usually only happens when I'm told that I'm not a butch if I'm female ID, or that I can't be a woman and still be masculine. Other than that I'm fine.

And for the record, I love fixing things and can repair or build just about anything but don't like working on cars. I'm not big on burping or doing anything else like that in front of others if I can avoid it. Table manners, etc matter to me. I am very comfortable around straight men (I have 4 brothers, no sisters) and often feel like a foreigner around straight women.

11-17-2009, 02:40 PM	#1
Darth Denkay Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I'm good with whatever Relationship Status: in love and loved Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Tennessee (Memphis, from Chattanooga) Posts: 315 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 456 Thanked 463 Times in 150 Posts Rep Power: 891935	try this again, maybe it got buried before... Realizing that this is a question of personal preference... We know that within our butch ranks we have female-identified, male-identified, other-identified; those who prefer male pronouns, those who prefer female pronouns, and those who couldn't care less. One word I use frequently with butches is 'bro'. I'm assuming that male-identified would be fine with this, but does this term feel erasing to some? I'd love to hear your collective thoughts on this. __________________ Darth

11-17-2009, 06:28 PM	#4
Jett Member How Do You Identify?: Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination Posts: 1,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,054 Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Cyclopea, I believe the thread rating system is anonymous... and apparently someone simply doesn't like the thread. I'm sure after it's gets rated by a few more peeps it will even it self out. __________________ .......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

11-17-2009, 06:05 PM	#3
Cyclopea Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Lesbian Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Exit Zero Posts: 1,267 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,694 Thanked 1,615 Times in 632 Posts Rep Power: 226200	Is there some way to tell who gave this thread a one star rating? Or is the rating system anonymous. Why would someone do that?

11-17-2009, 07:43 PM	#8
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,640 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Wicket I would prefer not to be referred to as bro. To me that is male language, and I don't want myself or all butches to be referred to with male default language. For those who prefer male pronouns I of course refer to them that way. I know I have seen in other places where other butches have said they preferred not to be called bro as well, but it wasn't on this forum. Thanks for asking.