Question to butches and how they deal with differences in dating

[candy_coated_bitch]

Oh, Snow--those are good points! And while I am more monogamously inclined sexually, I am not so much as a Domme when it comes to play. And I have found trying to to date outside of kink circles WAY more often creates that proprietary phenomenon where someone thinks that they have some sort of claim on me. Sometimes I think kink is easier because boundaries and expectations are more explicitly stated early on. That is my experience anyhow.

ETA: I have almost exclusively dated older butches/guys--sometimes a large age difference. I've never though about what this means as far as dating styles related to age...

Also--I have been the way I am in regards to my dating style since I started dating.

[DapperButch]

Hey, guys...thanks so much for responding...especially for adding your ages!

Originally Posted by candy_coated_bitch

I am 37 years old and a Queer Femme.

However--butches/guys (and I suspect people in general, but that's my dating pool so that's what I'm commenting on) usually want to move way more quickly than I do.

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

I'll go next...47 Year old Butch.

Never thought about this much. I don't think that Butches want to jump into monogamy more than femmes

SNIP

as much as think that cupcake was wanting to ask the questions from her perspective and experience, which is why this was addressed to the Butches. I could be wrong though.

I agree with you. I didn't read cupcake's post as asking us to speak to who we saw as desiring monogamy more (or more quickly). I was responding to Snow's question.

SNIP

So I think Butches who want monogamy right now can find it all over the age spectrum and do.

Absolutely. I was talking about one or the other. If I had to choose. And then I added age group as to when I think it shifts.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

45 year old Leather Queer Femme Dom/Daddy

I too find that if I date outside of my kink circles or kink oriented people, I will tend to feel trapped, caged, and sufficated and I tend to feel this way with all gender types..

Originally Posted by candy_coated_bitch

ETA: I have almost exclusively dated older butches/guys--sometimes a large age difference. I've never though about what this means as far as dating styles related to age...

Also--I have been the way I am in regards to my dating style since I started dating.

Just as an aside, when I answered Snow's question, I was speaking to what I see the community doing as a whole.

My personal experience is not any femmes wanting to move more quickly than me. Maybe some, but not enough to say it would qualify as significant in a scientific study.

Since others are speaking to their personal experience about themselves, I thought I would throw that in.

And BIG ASS NOD on what Snow was saying about the butch/femme community replicating heterosexual standards of it being more acceptable of butches dating younger femmes rather than the opposite.

I like the addition of the kink community to this discussion.

ETA: I wanted to come back in here and say that maybe I shouldn't have cut apart people's posts. I hope my snips didn't remove the context you were trying to put your thoughts into, resulting in inaccuracy's of your main answer to the question. Please let me know if it did. Anyway, it was a poor choice, I was just trying to keep a running tally. I dunno. Sorry!