Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms

[Martina]

Originally Posted by June

It's about Desire. Even the meanest Butch Top I ever dated wanted to be held and comforted sometimes. I admire people who don't let their ego override their desires.

That struck me as odd. i think being comforted and held -- the need to be -- is not really a desire issue. Nor is it a D/s issue. If someone is a human being, they are going to need that at some point.

This also implies that Dominants are not vulnerable to their subs, or that if they are, that that takes them out of Top space. There is no way to be a Dominant and not be vulnerable to the sub. The sub knows the Dominant really well if she or he is going to do her job. i am assuming a longer term relationship.

This rankled. Dominants are human beings. They need what we all do. Some may not allow themselves to be comforted by submissives. They may get that from partners or friends. But the vast majority, i'd say, have had moments where the submissive has provided comfort and support. i think that is not an uncommon form of service and connection between a submissive and a Dominant. It's an intimate connection. Dominants let down their guard. In those moments, they are still Dominant.