About Butches Q & A

[LipstickLola]

Question for you all, does a 'strong' woman, femme in type turn you off?
I'm asking because of something I'm trying to figure out from the past, yeah, I should let it go, but? I'd really like to know if that is a negative to butch women. I'd not change one iota, (am a softy really) but I am what I am, so? just asking

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

Question for you all, does a 'strong' woman, femme in type turn you off?
I'm asking because of something I'm trying to figure out from the past, yeah, I should let it go, but? I'd really like to know if that is a negative to butch women. I'd not change one iota, (am a softy really) but I am what I am, so? just asking

Personally, no. I prefer independent, strong femmes. Where this can get sketchy for me has do do more with things like loudness. But, I am just not one for loud, anyway. Femme or butch.... all other people. It is just a personality style thing for me as a person, myself. i can get really tired of feeling my own voice notch up when trying to have a conversation with someone like this (again, anyone from any identity).

I enjoy gregarious women very much- but that isn't really what I'm talking about- abrasiveness is probably the best description. Again, I don't care for abrasive people- isn't really a femme thing.

I love my older sister to pieces, but, sometimes I need a break from her when we are together- she is rather loud and just has a personality that can take over- cause others to feel that what they have to say isn't important. But, she can hear this criticism. And has given me some pointers as well about how I might come off to other people. My softer persona along with being somewhat reserved might come off as stuck-up. I have to watch this.

[LipstickLola]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Personally, no. I prefer independent, strong femmes. Where this can get sketchy for me has do do more with things like loudness. But, I am just not one for loud, anyway. Femme or butch.... all other people. It is just a personality style thing for me as a person, myself. i can get really tired of feeling my own voice notch up when trying to have a conversation with someone like this (again, anyone from any identity).

I enjoy gregarious women very much- but that isn't really what I'm talking about- abrasiveness is probably the best description. Again, I don't care for abrasive people- isn't really a femme thing.

I love my older sister to pieces, but, sometimes I need a break from her when we are together- she is rather loud and just has a personality that can take over- cause others to feel that what they have to say isn't important. But, she can hear this criticism. And has given me some pointers as well about how I might come off to other people. My softer persona along with being somewhat reserved might come off as stuck-up. I have to watch this.

Thank you for that!
I think I hear you, brash is a word I think I'd use in describing abrasiveness too. Although I can be loud if necessary, (my playground voice, lol) it's more the vibe I give off I suppose. I'm 5'8' (was recently told that was tall, ) and as my momma always said, I walk like a linebacker I can't help that, (charm school didn't work).....my point is, that doesn't adequately describe my entire persona, you'd have to actually talk to me to know I'm not that person.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

Thank you for that!
I think I hear you, brash is a word I think I'd use in describing abrasiveness too. Although I can be loud if necessary, (my playground voice, lol) it's more the vibe I give off I suppose. I'm 5'8' (was recently told that was tall, ) and as my momma always said, I walk like a linebacker I can't help that, (charm school didn't work).....my point is, that doesn't adequately describe my entire persona, you'd have to actually talk to me to know I'm not that person.

YES! And tall is good! So is short!

Be who you are. As a butch type that usually falls short of many of the butch standards I see sometimes, I know about internal questions and sometime insecurity. But, what I have learned is that both butches and femmes have many different styles and traits. I don't need to fit into any box and I sure don't think that anyone else has to. besides, standards are fluid.

[Mtn]

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

Question for you all, does a 'strong' woman, femme in type turn you off?
I'm asking because of something I'm trying to figure out from the past, yeah, I should let it go, but? I'd really like to know if that is a negative to butch women. I'd not change one iota, (am a softy really) but I am what I am, so? just asking

The love of my life, was/is very strong, she can handle herself anywhere, and was in many ways stronger than I, it was a total turn on. I still got to care for her, but knowing she can and will make it in the world was an awesome thing. I am proud of who she is, and the decisions she is making for herself. She also had all the sweetness of a girl and could literally make a room light up. She is still a real blessing in my life, and one I will always cherish.

[swagger]

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

Question for you all, does a 'strong' woman, femme in type turn you off?
I'm asking because of something I'm trying to figure out from the past, yeah, I should let it go, but? I'd really like to know if that is a negative to butch women. I'd not change one iota, (am a softy really) but I am what I am, so? just asking

She's gotta be strong! Absolutely. Mind you, it's all subjective isn't it? I wouldn't want a lover who couldn't show "weakness," humility, vulnerability ... I'm a tough woman who can show those things too after all.

(Strident's another good bad word lol).

All women should be strong. All of us.

But you know, that analysis/assumption some people make, of butch being strong and femme weak, well it's a laugh, innit? Most femmes can kick my ass one way or another!

[Rope]

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

Question for you all, does a 'strong' woman, femme in type turn you off?
I'm asking because of something I'm trying to figure out from the past, yeah, I should let it go, but? I'd really like to know if that is a negative to butch women. I'd not change one iota, (am a softy really) but I am what I am, so? just asking

Strong women are sexy. I date submissive women but they are by no means weak women. They are strong, independent, courageous women.

HOWEVER that said, define strong---mean and cruel under the guise of strong, not attractive.

Rope--

[Jess]

Originally Posted by Rope

Strong women are sexy. I date submissive women but they are by no means weak women. They are strong, independent, courageous women.

HOWEVER that said, define strong---mean and cruel under the guise of strong, not attractive.

Rope--

Could not have imagined a better response. KUDOS!

[DapperButch]

AtLastHome:

<<I would like to know from other butches, how you view the B-F dynamic in terms of how and why you were initially drawn to it. Is it mostly about attraction to femmes for you- or does it run deeper in terms of your butch identity? Maybe you have an attachment to butch historically (going back to what defined butch years ago), within a class, ethnic or racial perspective... or not? >>


Being butch has nothing to do with the butch/femme dynamic for me.

I AM butch. I date femmes, which results in being a part of the butch-femme dynamic.

I was butch and I dated femmes long before I knew what the butch-femme dynamic was.

I was a part of it before I knew there was a name for it.