Poly Relationships

[sharkchomp]

People are complex plain and simple. Having one relationship is complicated, even removing the endorphins, it takes work, honest communication, etc. Hell, friendships take work too! When you're trying to have two relationships the complexities are doubled. The sorrows can be doubled - but also the joy can be doubled too.

I'm not saying poly relationships are bad but it takes alot of work to balance yourself within the relationships. It's not always easy or fun. I think it takes a clear minded, open, honest person to do it. And selfishness has no place in poly.

~~~shark~~~~~~~

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Hi Linus,

I think most people are capable to love many people, if they allow themself. It is a matter of being open, free from what society norms are, and enjoying yourself with many. For some, the concept is do-able. However, in reality they can't for whatever reason (boundaries of safety, religious beliefs, kids, and so on). Sometimes one partner can handle it, and then when the reality comes into play, they decide that it is something that they cannot support or participate in. No matter how much talking is done, good and bad, it still kills it.

I agree, if you mention this to most people, you get looked at like you have 3 heads. Oy.

Have you watched the series "Big Love"? Good show.

Haven't seen the show yet but have heard of it.

And yes, some people are capable if they allow themselves. One of the biggest things that has to happen first, IMO, is a love of self before loving others.

Originally Posted by IrishGrrl

I've always wondered if being poly would be for me. I've done it, so I dont know for sure. For me, I think yes, initially I would be jealous of the other person recieving attention from my lover/partner. I think that as long as I recieved enough indivdual attention, I would get over that pretty easily. I know I wouldnt have an issue with my partner/lover having sex with someone else. I dont not equate sex with love, so once I got over the initial start of having this happen, since it's so new and different for me personally, I'd be ok. The tricky thing about poly for me..and I think if you ask the general population..alot would agree..that it's not just the act of your lover having sex with someone else..it's the idea that they may leave YOU for THEM eventually. That other person in your mind may be recieving special attention you are not. For me, that's where I get stuck..but my rational mind tells me, that you run that risk in ANY relationship..perhaps more in a monogomous one no? I dont believe humans are made to be monogomous creatures..we just arent ..it's not natural.I believe we CAN..and DO out of choice..or preference, but biologically, I think we are not meant to.

Just my personal thoughts.

edited to add..
My love is VERY conditional. You treat me like shit..or my children like shit..you're gone. Love be damned.

Very true that there could open up the possibility of one leaving the other for their 2nd partner but I've actually heard something else happens. The relationship with the original partner strengths because of trust, a newness of life, etc.

Originally Posted by sharkchomp

People are complex plain and simple. Having one relationship is complicated, even removing the endorphins, it takes work, honest communication, etc. Hell, friendships take work too! When you're trying to have two relationships the complexities are doubled. The sorrows can be doubled - but also the joy can be doubled too.

I'm not saying poly relationships are bad but it takes alot of work to balance yourself within the relationships. It's not always easy or fun. I think it takes a clear minded, open, honest person to do it. And selfishness has no place in poly.

~~~shark~~~~~~~

Very much true. But we manage with many friends in lives, why not loves?


Thank you everyone for your comments. I'm hoping that more poly-interested people do join this conversation as well.