A straight girl enters the queer world...

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by Corkey

Oh I know they are different, which is why I was asking you some questions, which you are under no obligation to answer. You pointed out, without too much fact that Femmes are always the ones who have to get to know FTM's. I am challenging that statement.
I think all parties who want to understand one another are under obligation to do so with respect.

Corkey, I have clearly differentiated private conversations between two individuals and discussions I have observed online. I agree with you that anyone wanting to get to know someone should do so with respect irregardless of how someone ids.

I do think websites such as this do offer a lot of information for all of us, including people new to our community and someone wanting to learn about trans, butch and femme issues could find a lot of great information and people here, so it's a great resource to point people to.

My only motivation was I don't think femmes should have to do a majority of the research and accommodating, whether their partners be trans, butch or anything else. There seems to be a big discrepancy that I have observed over a long time being on these sites. This is my perception. I am not challenging your perception.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by BullDog

Corkey, I have clearly differentiated private conversations between two individuals and discussions I have observed online. I agree with you that anyone wanting to get to know someone should do so with respect irregardless of how someone ids.

I do think websites such as this do offer a lot of information for all of us, including people new to our community and someone wanting to learn about trans, butch and femme issues could find a lot of great information and people here, so it's a great resource to point people to.

My only motivation was I don't think femmes should have to do a majority of the research and accommodating, whether their partners be trans, butch or anything else. There seems to be a big discrepancy that I have observed over a long time being on these sites. This is my perception. I am not challenging your perception.

Thank you for answering. Having been on sites like this for a while, I too think they are a great resource, without the perception of whom does what. Because what I perceive has nothing to do with the reality of how people get to know each other. When you say Femmes have to do the majority of research and accommodating I find that to be erroneous. I think, and have observed that all ID's have a learning curve, and all ID's accommodate.