only another butch would understand

[Bit]

Originally Posted by Ms Cyn

.. she does the *call him by his birth name* to hurt and make him feel bad about himself.. that who he is in his head, is not who he is in body or on paper... it matter to him.. it hurts him...

I am so sorry to say that I have seen this again and again and again---and not just from Femmes, either--I have seen people of all gender identities in our community do this to each other. It's a very bad habit. There are really no words that adequately describe this kind of deliberately malicious pain-infliction, this silencing, this intention to wipe a person's true being off the face of the earth simply because one doesn't like what they said or did.

You would think that any of us who are concerned about being invisible would be grown-up enough to control ourselves even in anger, grown-up enough to restrain ourselves from this kind of utter disrespect. Invalidating another person's identity, making them invisible simply because we are angry, says nothing about them--but a whole world about us.

I just don't understand why people don't get that.