Question to butches and how they deal with differences in dating

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by homoe

I was raised with manners and common sense. I mean that's just rude to let a door slam in someone's face so I will extent an open door or hold one open to let someone pass through , help on with coats, help or pull out a chair for someone to get into, stuff like that. After reading these posts, I see that might offend some folks?

For me, nope wouldn't offend me. I like that. I don't like someone dressed in a suit, with flowers, calling me ma'am, taking me to a really expensive place, and being really formal type old school.

Like I personally have said, I am old fashioned. But I am also not formal. I feel really awkward putting the things I feel old fashioned about on a board because to me the are quiet, personal things between me and one other person. But carrying my bags is lovely, without making a fuss about it, opening my door, helping me with a coat, paying for a dinner or a night out... I don't really won't to say too much more. That's kind of between me and the other person and it feels really private.

I think things that feel ... They are doing it because I'm a femme, rather than because I'm me and special, feels very... Insert cardboard cut of of femme and insert formula ritual thing here... I'd prefer we get a hang of each other and have personal things for us. Not because I'm a femme and that's what you do for femmes. It feels really ... Insert tab a into slot b show romance in way you show femmes romance. I just feels overly intimate in a fake way. Perhaps more like what gemme is talking about.

Kind of like when servers in a restaurant get cloy (Overly Ingratiating or sentimental) ? I hate an excess of sentiment upfront. It makes me really uncomfortable. I guess I like humour and playfulness and understatement.

Putting it on paper, typing into a post looks hopelessly picky. But in reality it's not. Ive actually been told I'm really easy to talk to and extremely easy company - when someone isn't trying hard to impress me and listens to me instead. And me them.