FTM place to vent and talk

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Darbonaire

I know how this shit feels from the lesbian community...not ALL of the community but a large part of it...in my experience anyway.

I don't give a rat's ass how someone identifies....that's their deal....but, because I aligned my body with my heart & soul, does NOT mean I am a traitor to the lesbian community...I never WAS a lesbian...THEY perceived me that way so that's on them. Yep, we've all heard the...."Well, if you want to be a guy....." shit. The butches that don't get it the feminists that don't get it. I think it's GREAT that they are comfortabe being masculine in their female bodies....excellent...for them. It was NOT for me & never has been.

The LBGT community is discriminated against by society & why the fu*k there's such "in-fighting" amongst these groups I've never understood. People are afraid of what they don't understand. I have often wondered if some of the shit I've heard from masculine butches isn't envy in a way. <Figuring I may get a LOT of shit over that statement...lol> It's just something I've wondered is all.....not something I believe to be true....at least not all the time.

Anyway, somewhere out there is another mate for me who will encompass ALL the wonderful qualities of my ex-wife, & be even more of a match for me. When I'm ready.......

I have to agree with weatherboi on this one. Regardless of one's experience we cannot paint that brush against the whole of a group (largely because there is no way we've met everyone). That's no different than someone assuming we're all assholes because of one or more FTMs acting like assholes. Guilt by association is the wrong attitude, IMO, to take towards this. Rather than rant about what happened and do a "who is me, how horrible things were", why not rise above it and go beyond?

I think we sometimes forget the fine line that we have when discussing experiences versus making it sound like hatred or an -ism. By virtue of being male, some of how we describe our experience may come out as an -ism (whether intentional or not).

I think we have to speak entirely for ourselves and not for what others may or may not feel (that is, speak from the *I* place and not "them", "they", etc.). I cannot speak for nor would I attempt to speak for those who support me or are against me. Have I felt that kind of hatred? Yes. There are some who are like that. Is it the majority of who exists out there? No. Because I haven't met them all, only a small subset. But I wouldn't assume that everyone I've met is part of that subset either until they show me they are.

Your experience is important, Dabonaire. It has added to who you are but how we express that experience can either paint a whole group one way or another.

[Linus]

And just so that people realize this: the creation of this thread has made it one of the most watched thread by not just FTMs but others. This isn't a private thread.

Remember that when posting.